Brian sought out counseling as he often found himself giving up quickly. He was frustrated with his inability to persevere when things became difficult or what he perceived as overwhelming and insurmountable. And as we worked together he discovered how he held the following thoughts:
I am not fast or smart enough, I’ll look stupid, It’s easier to settle with what I’m comfortable with
For Brian, step #1 was becoming conscious that the thoughts are what created the feeling that situation is insurmountable.
Step #2 – we looked at the benefits to holding on to these beliefs. For Brian, it was a way to avoid getting out of his comfort zone. This is an important step, as the benefits to holding on to negativity are not obvious, but often a root cause in staying stuck.
Step #3 – He wrote how staying in his comfort zone was hurting him now and in
Step #4 – Start with one negative belief he holds, that he wants to change. Write down , how can I reframe this situation or the way I see myself , to feel less triggered and overwhelmed? Realizing that he can persevere when he creates thoughts to foster himself or the situation diminishes his fear to move forward.
Write down what one thing he could do or say to himself to release some of the discomfort around this situation now. He used the following questions to reframe:
* What is one small step I could take to make this task easier or less fearful?
* What is one thing I need to say to myself to give myself more peace or be easier on myself?
Step #5 – This is something I just recently added in my own meditation. Repeating the words…Release.. peace…I choose release…I choose peace…. These simple words can also assist the client in releasing the negative chatter.
Setp #6 – Record what he did differently and celebrating himself for taking any kind of step to move through the fear and and handle what he once thought was insurmountable.